Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Mommy moment...

After a long day, Kids in bed, I walked into the twins room to put some laundry away. Sydney requested I come lay with her. After a long exhausting routine of prayers, singing, getting water, going to the bathroom everything in me was screaming "No" but I decided to grant her request for a short moment. She began talking to me. She asked me how Great Grandma got to Heavenly Father and Jesus. Could she fly?, She asked. Was she sad? Did she cry? I told her no she was happy. She asked me if the fishes (that she saw when visiting her) had to go too. I reassured her they did not go. She asked me why she died and I told her she just got old. She told me then that she never wanted to get old and die she would be very scared. She did not want to be alone. Could I come with her? It was at this point I was able share a special gift, a wonderful truth. We don't have to be alone. We don't have to be scared. Jesus loved us so much he died for us so we could live with those we love forever. So we could be with our families forever. This made her very happy. I told her we need to always say Thank you for what Jesus did. It was one of those moments I almost missed. I was stunned to find out that all these thoughts were going on in my three year old's head, unsaid and not understood.

Tonight I am more grateful than ever for Jesus and his sacrifice and the knowledge that I will see my Grandma again. That she is not alone. That I have the opportunity to be those I love the most forever.

These was written on Sunday. I was not sure I would share it. I don't want to keep being a downer. Tonight she again asked me about my Grandma. She seemed shocked when I used the word Dead this time instead of died. She said, "she can't be dead she smiled at me from her chair while I was playing with the toys". It just broke my heart. I feel glad she is remembering her so vividly but it hurts all the same. All of my other children, including Hailey do not seem affected.

18 comments:

AutoSysGene said...

Your not being a downer by just saying how you feel. Death is a big thing to deal with and however long it takes is just the right amount of time for you.

Maybe your little one will help you come to grips with the loss...it sounds as if she has already!!

(((hugs)))

Are You Serious! said...

♡ It always amazes me the depth of thought that such small children have!

Stephanie said...

I have goosebumps. Death is such a difficult process. Healing takes time. Remembering yesterday, and thinking of "tomorrow", when we'll be with those lossed, helps. It sounds like this moment was a special part of that journey.

Claremont First Ward said...

I don't even know how to articulate what I'm thinking, but Melissa and Stephanie have done such a good job. I'll second them. Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Wow, and to think you could of missed that whole conversation had you not laid down with her for those few minutes! Now she has a whole new understanding, that's a feel good in and of itself.

Have a great day-

jenni anne said...

i hope you know you aren't a downer. this is what is happening in your life, and that is why we all flock to your blog!! you had an amazing moment with your daughter who obviously already has a huge heart and strong mind. thanks for sharing that moment with us!!

Hillary said...

I am always surprized to hear what my kids are thinking. Sometimes I think they teach me more than I teach them. That is such a sweet moment. Thanks for sharing it.

girlytwins said...

It is really special that the two of you are able to help each other during this difficult time. Moments like those make such an impact on a child's life. Your grandmother is definitely not alone. She is with you and your family every day, looking over you with loving arms. Jesus made sure we would always have our loved ones near us. I'm sorry your pain is still so strong. Hugs to you.

Heather said...

Kids are so rad. Sometimes we just need to be able to say what we believe out loud, so that we can really remember and testify. Having kids lets us do that more often. So sorry about missing your grandma. I never knew my grandparents, but I see how special the relationship is.

Crazymamaof6 said...

what a sweetheart. thinking all those big thoughts! way to go taking the moment, and really talking to her. it's so hard after a long day. so glad you didn't miss this chance. and that she shared her thoughts with you! what a cutie! awesome mama!

and totally not a downer. this blog is yours to write about your thoughts and feelings! take all the time you need. and post about everything you want to. this is your journal , thanks for sharing these special moments with us.

Sara said...

I agree. Your blog, your space, your thoughts. Anything goes. Wow, this made me really think about taking time out more often to let our kids just talk to us. What a special moment you had with her to teach her about the great plan of happiness Christ has in store for us. What an awesome Mommy/daughter moment.

Jaime said...

Wow Laura what a great moment with your sweet daughter. Death is so hard on adults, and we have more of an understanding. As a kid, not knowing and wondering would be scary! Hugs to you and your family!

Casey's trio said...

Isn't amazing how even young kids process some of this grown-up stuff? It's so awesome that you were able to have that time with her to explain things to her. Thinking of you!

Mike and Shelby said...

Oh, yesterday was the one year anniversary of my own grandma's death. This post helped me...a lot, thank you.

My condolences on your grandmas passing.

Shannon said...

What a sweet post. I am so sorry for your loss. It is amazing how some children seem to feel it more than others. I was that way when my grandma died. I was 8 and I thought about her every night in my bed. So great that you could use this loss to teach your child about Jesus. Way to seize the opportunity!

Stephanie said...

I'm so glad for you to have shared that moment. I can relate to having the kids want me to stop at the end of the day (when all I want to do is tuck them in and then go have some "me" time). What a great reward for you to have that conversation.
Funny - Isaiah has been asking me all kinds of questions about Jesus this week too (for the first time).

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

What a great moment! Kids are more aware of the situation then we sometimes know.

Sarah said...

What a tender moment. It amazes me how children can understand deep things like this, and then not understand WHY they cannot eat ice cream for lunch. Seriously.