Humbled....

After having a bad day on Friday. I sat down to catch up on some blogs. What I read just hit me like a ton of bricks, and frankly I needed it!

Recently on two blogs I read requests for support have gone out to mothers who's children are dealing with cancer. Small children suffering, mothers hearts aching. If you want to read about it you can here click on the names ...
In-Site full
and here
Benefit for Jen
and here
Fournier Six

Just reading this truly humbled me. Especially Jen's because the end is near. I love scrapbooking so I was looking at her beautiful pages when I came across her sons story and it wasn't just reading about her sons cancer diagnosis, but that it is now terminal situation. He was life flighted the hospital this weekend and is near the end. I was just sick. Sick for someone I don't even know, someone I may never know. The other story is very similar but so far the outcome with likely be different. This child will likely live, I will be praying for that. I am so lucky. I have four healthy children. I do not yet know the ache it feels to watch the person you love so much dying. I don't want to know. I have had a pit in my stomach all weekend. I am determined to be more patient, and to appreciate all the little moments. Life is fragile. Life is hard. It really helps me understand why you can love someone so much it hurts... today it hurts! My prayers go out to all those who are suffering!

Notes to self......

Don't drive across town and don't expect someone to put the right thing on hold even though you read them the style number(they really don't have it)!
Don't pack up the twins and haul them into the gym on a Friday nite at 7:10, the gym kids care closes at 7pm.
and...
No matter how little food you think you have DO NOT TAKE THE TWINS TO THE GROCERY STORE!
It doesn't matter how many other mothers seem to do it... you can't.
It doesn't matter that you found a cart they each get their own seat-
They will still cry, scream for everything in sight, scratch each other, and cause everyone in the store to stare.

You will leave defeated, missing most of the groceries, tired and miserable. Then even though you don't think you can do another thing, you sit in the car alone and begin mustering the energy and patience to some how put them to bed!

I heart boys.....

So girls are full of pretty little things, but boys can be quite the opposite. Jacob has been spending his days digging for worms (ick).
He is dirty from head to two and so are my bathroom counters, my wood floors, and my bathtub.
I still heart little boys, the sense of adventure and discovery. Just don't make me touch snakes, worms, snails, and please limit the dirt when possible!
Truth be told Lindsey is right out there with him playing with the worms (yuck)!

Those pretty little things....

I think it might have been a big mistake to bless me with three little girls (with twin matches too). It's quite expensive. I have a confession I have to admit I love little girl stuff SO much. I love the hair do's and bows...















And I love clothing and accessories that match (thanks Gymboree)...

All the cute details on the clothing...

The options are endless...
Pretty dresses

And shoes (this is only the shoes I could find in their room)

And I could go on and on. I know all the sales and all the deals and I love dressing them all up! Aside from all the cute girly stuff out there (the baby dolls, the clothing) I grew up with two sisters myself. I enjoyed hours of doll playing, barbies, playing school and other fun. Today as a grown up I enjoy friendships with both my sisters and consider them amoung the best of my friends. So... yes I love girl stuff , but I love girls for more than just that. I hope my daughters enjoy the same magical childhood I had and become friends and sisters forever. It truly is a gift.
* Side note: for those who wanted to find me and all these cute things on ebay. My Ebay ID is Lauraall. I always sell my cute stuff. I usually sell by season. So I can let you know, if you like, when it is time to list.

Saturday Soccerday

Today was Jacob's second soccer game. These sports can sure keep a family busy. He did great! I however, fell and sprained my ankle walking in. I am embarrassed that I fell especially because it was likely my horrible shoes! Sometimes fashion is not that important. I have never sprained my ankle. Usually when I fall or get hurt I get up and walk it off and its fine. This time I could not get up for a long time and the pain was/ is horrible. I spent the day on the couch but now we have it braced I can limp around. I hope it heals quickly. I have to get back to the gym. Anyway, I don't recommend doing this. Sneakers all the way baby, well at least at parks.

Challenges....

I came across this quote on Lisa Bearnson's blog and thought it was worth sharing. I have had my share of trials and I am sure I will have more to come and this quote really spoke to me and my sense of justice. When I am suffering and especially when those I love are suffering I often have a difficult time finding the reason why. It's not easy learning to endure trials with grace and courage.

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts and expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God." Orson F. Whitney.

I remember so clearly praying that my twins lives would be saved and realizing that my will might not be Gods will. I honestly cannot imagine how I would have handled that outcome, I am grateful to not have to endure that challenge. I also prayed that they would not have to face their challenges while I was pregnant, that they would not be monoamniotic. Yet no matter how many prayers I offered that challenge was not taken from me and I did have to endure months of worry and serious doubts over their lives. Would they make it? Once it was over and we made it I realized that in the end it did help me do many things to suffer like that. First off I learned first hand that God was real, and he was listening to me, and carrying me through my fears and my trials. Second I learned to appreciate the blessing of delivering two live babies and sharing their lives- they have brought so much joy, laughter and fun to our lives. Suffering for them truly helped me appreciate every moment of their blessed lives. It's has been so fun watching them grow and interact together, they truly have touched all that know them. Third I have found so much meaning in volunteering in my hospital helping other preemie moms and helping moderate the Monoamniotic twin website. I never knew the healing and the joy that comes from helping others who are suffering. I have also made many lasting friendships through this same forum. I know God knows better than we do what we need, and what we really want. I am so grateful for that!

I hope I can remember this when I need to in the future. Not all challenges have the desired outcome.

Jacob, Birthday boy....

A few of my favorite pictures.. life just passes by so quickly!
Just born... he had a permanent mohawk, it was so cute!What a day to celebrate! My little boy is turning five today. As I look over his life and all the joy he has brought to our family I feel so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for this sweet little boy, our Jacob. Jacob is an unusually kind child, sweet natured, and a lot of fun! Did I ever mention how handsome I think he is too?
Jacob was born at 8:30pm on April 11th after a very long labor that ended in a emergency c-section. He was worth it all! I thought I loved him on that first day I held him, but now I know him and know who he is, I love him so much more. I had no idea what a blessing and a gift this boy was bringing to our family! Happy Birthday my darling wonderful child! This year will be a great one filled with soccer games, t-ball, swimming, and the beginning of a new venture in life Kindergarten. I can't help but feel a little sad as I watch you grow and become more independent, even still I am so proud of you each new accomplishment, each new adventure we share! I love you!

Five years old!

Easter....

Here a few pics from Easter. I took over 200 so I am only sharing a few! Hope you had a nice day too! The twins really loved Egg hunting, picture taking... not so much! Easter is a major photo opportunity for me. I love the cute clothing, the new flowers, and greener grass. What a perfect season to remember the real meaning of Easter.

Sydney

HaileyLittle girl cousins...

Boys kind of fun......

Here are few shots from the boys weekend. It's all about the cars... not the people.

Ebs and Flows....

I am glad I wrote my previous post because this week has been so crazy busy that I am totally behind on everything. Such is life. I haven't even been able to one load of laundry! Let see... we had Jacob home sick, t-ball, Jacob's friend birthday party (baking), volunteer work at the hospital, and kids out of school for Spring break which alone makes life nuts! I feel overwhelmed. We have to dye eggs, and get Easter ready. Fun fun fun! Next week we have Jacob's real birthday, T-ball, Soccer, and hopefully lots of laundry and cleaning. I am looking forward to tommorow and my kids in cute matching clothing etc... and, while it is always busy, I hope in all the fun and hustle I can help the kids remember why were really celebrate Easter. The other day I heard Lindsey and Jacob having a conversation. Jacob was telling Lindsey that Easter was about Jesus and the resurrection, Lindsey was arguing that it was about, " a chick being born and a new life beginning". At first I thought she was just teasing him but in further discussion it seems she believed that silly theory. I have a lot of work to do. I am proud that Jacob at four seems to understand why we have Easter, but how at 7 did Lindsey forget? I suppose the beginnning of a new life is part of the resurrection but the whole chick being born is all too Easter bunny like to me. So tonight amist all the bathing, and egg dying we are having a little lesson. I am personally so grateful for Jesus Christ and his sacrifice and that through him I was given the chance for that new life! Happy Easter, I will post some pics tommorow or Monday...

Update... In further discussion I have discovered that Lindsey did not actually mean that Easter was about a chick hatching and its new life, but that in Primary they used that analogy to teach about Christ and his resurrection... I feel better knowing that she is understanding better than I thought. On a funny note tonight after I put Jacob to bed I was walking past his room he informed me that he had changed out of his jammies into his Easter/church clothing so he would be ready tommorow. He had his slacks, shirt, sweater, and even his shoes on. I did not have the heart to make him change back, he was so proud of his thoughtfulness. It was so funny. I may have to iron him in the morning, LOL!

My weekend....

With Alan gone, I finally got out my scrap booking. I was forced to do my work outs in the mornings and use the daycare, which proved to be nice. Anyway for the first time in months I got all my cleaning and laundry caught up at the same time! It Wednesday now, and its coming undone already, but it felt great! I also managed to scrapbook the pages posted below, make my Grandma a mini album for her birthday, and make several cards for a card group. I did not take pictures of everything but here are the pages I did. Click the pictures for a better view.

All boy.....

Alan went on a guys weekend last week. He left Wednesday and came back Saturday. He and his "guy" friends met in Moab, Utah and took the Jeeps/trucks on the four wheel trails and rode dirt bikes. I think they had fun. Typical of all guys they did not take any pictures but I did take a few as he was cleaning his bike up and giving Jacob a ride around the block when he arrived home.

Jacob was nervous before the ride began, but he was cheering with delight as he arrived back. He loves motorcycles!