Mommy moment...

After a long day, Kids in bed, I walked into the twins room to put some laundry away. Sydney requested I come lay with her. After a long exhausting routine of prayers, singing, getting water, going to the bathroom everything in me was screaming "No" but I decided to grant her request for a short moment. She began talking to me. She asked me how Great Grandma got to Heavenly Father and Jesus. Could she fly?, She asked. Was she sad? Did she cry? I told her no she was happy. She asked me if the fishes (that she saw when visiting her) had to go too. I reassured her they did not go. She asked me why she died and I told her she just got old. She told me then that she never wanted to get old and die she would be very scared. She did not want to be alone. Could I come with her? It was at this point I was able share a special gift, a wonderful truth. We don't have to be alone. We don't have to be scared. Jesus loved us so much he died for us so we could live with those we love forever. So we could be with our families forever. This made her very happy. I told her we need to always say Thank you for what Jesus did. It was one of those moments I almost missed. I was stunned to find out that all these thoughts were going on in my three year old's head, unsaid and not understood.

Tonight I am more grateful than ever for Jesus and his sacrifice and the knowledge that I will see my Grandma again. That she is not alone. That I have the opportunity to be those I love the most forever.

These was written on Sunday. I was not sure I would share it. I don't want to keep being a downer. Tonight she again asked me about my Grandma. She seemed shocked when I used the word Dead this time instead of died. She said, "she can't be dead she smiled at me from her chair while I was playing with the toys". It just broke my heart. I feel glad she is remembering her so vividly but it hurts all the same. All of my other children, including Hailey do not seem affected.

My Grandma...

I haven't felt much like posting. I have been reflecting a lot about what I wanted to share about my Grandma and that left me overwhelmed. We went on another short weekend trip and that was a welcome distraction for a while. The funeral was today.

Thank you for all your heart felt and sincere wishes. It meant a lot to me. I also wanted to thank my childhood friend Allison who reads my blog (and doesn't comment hint hint). She read of my Grandma's death and immediately notified her mother (who is my mom's good friend). It meant a lot to my mom to receive support at this time and I know her mother would not have known without Allison being so thoughtful. She did the same thing when my Grandpa died. I truly appreciated that simple act of kindness.


My Grandma has been such a dear part of my life, all of my life. She was my mom's best friend and number one cheer leader. She has been there for nearly every event in my life. She was an amazing woman who lived her life simple and with integrity. She worked every single day of her life, and she worked hard. She never wanted to be idle. She spent her entire life dedicated to serving others. In the last months of her life it got hard. She was alone. She could not get around anymore. She was in pain. She still never complained. When I asked how she was doing she always said, "Just the same". She never made us think it was a picnic but she did not focus on her hardships. What a great example this was to me and is to me. We are all given challenges, we may have to suffer. Getting on with it with a good attitude can take you far. I will take that example with me. She was also always grateful. I won't soon forget her constant thank you's when she received care or help. Even in her last days I saw her writing notes (which took great effort) to the nurses and saying thank you. That really impressed me. My Grandma was not a powerful woman. She never had a big career. She spent most of her life taking care of her family and her friends and neighbors. She worked hard and saved every penny they earned. Again, she never complained. Without being out in the work force she found a way to touch many people. Being a great mother changed the lives of so many. In a world where motherhood is not often valued she showed me of its great value. Her example helps me remember that what you do as a mother and for your children and posterity is a huge accomplishment. Through that job you do influence many and you do change lives. This is something she did. She also gave me my mother, who is my best friend. It has been so difficult to say good bye and let go of this marvelous woman. I am grateful to know I will see her again.

I feel lucky my kids got to know her and love her and her them. On my last visit with her days before she died she was not well. It was very difficult for me to see her like this. When I said Good bye to her and told her who I was I was able to say I love you and she smiled and she kissed me. I am so glad I had that moment and that closure. Those memories are cherished.

This was on the back of the funeral program and I really liked it.
We all have things that happen to us and wonder, "why me?". My father used to say pressure is what makes diamonds and coal and probably a lot of other valuable things.

Diamonds and coal are both made from the same element. It is the difference in pressure and heat that changes them. It is the same with people. Were made of the same elements, but the pressure and heat make some of us diamonds. It's how we handle our problems that determines our lives. Out are opportunities are great, if we just take advantage of them.

-Marguerite Jensen (my Grandma)

I hope I can remember this. We all have the opportunity to take our lives and make them great.

Marguerite Christensen Jensen
Marguerite Christensen Jensen 7/17/1915 ~ 5/22/2008 Grandma lived a good long life. We loved grandma and sitting in her lap with a book, her M&M jar and her closet of vintage toys.Marguerite C. Jensen "Marge", beloved wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunt, sister and friend, passed away of natural causes on May 22, 2008 at home with loving family by her side. Marge was born to Daniel and Mattie Christensen in Fruitland, NM. Marge was valedictorian of her graduating class. She served in the Canadian Mission where she met her future husband, Ivan Jensen. They married in the Salt Lake LDS Temple in 1941. Her husband preceded her in death after 66 years of marriage. She had a kind and loving heart, and a wide-ranging intellect. She was an avid reader, loved history and collected historical artifacts, loved flowers and gardening, enjoyed cooking, quilting and sewing. The family will cherish the many pieced quilts that she artfully created. Marge and Ivan have six children: Karen (Rex) Alldredge, Roberta (Paul) Barstad, Kathleen (LaVere) Terry, Ivan Orville Jensen, MaryAnn (Dennis) Golightly, James (Mardi) Jensen. They have 22 grandchildren and 40 great-grandchildren. Marge was an active member of the LDS Church. She served faithfully throughout her life in many church positions, including president of YWMIA, Primary, Junior Sunday School and Relief Society. She was also a member of the Daughters of Utah Pioneers, and served on their board. Her greatest accomplishment was being a loving mother and her posterity call her name blessed. The family would like to express appreciation and thanks to friends, neighbors, Rocky Mountain Hospice, and all who have offered their love, support and prayers. Funeral services for Marge will be held on Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 11 a.m.

Yellowstone day 2 and other random stuff...

Bear

You can see the bear in the bottom left corner...

The kids in front on the Teton mountain range. We drove home the long way to see more sights.

It took quite a bit longer because when we were nearly home we got stuck in a monster traffic jam The freeway was completely stopped and it turned out the canyon was closed from many hours. We turned around and had to take a dirt road over the canyon. It was quite an adventure for sure!

This dirt road was packed and it was pretty crazy!

It's been a tough week. My dear Grandma passed away yesterday. I am very sad and will miss her deeply. Today is Alan's birthday as well. I want him to know how much I love and appreciate him. He watched the kids several times over the last month and let me spend time with my Grandma. I will post more about her later. I am trying to compose myself and its all to fresh right now. Hope you all have a great weekend.