Happy 5th Birthday!

Dear Sydney and Hailey,
I believe in miracles because I begged God to allow you to live and come to our family safely and you did. It didn't seem possible or even likely.

As I watched you be born and heard your first weak cries. I knew I was experiencing a miracle, we all knew it. I watched the nurses and doctors attend to you carefully. I worried as a ventilator was needed to help you breath.
All I wanted was you to be born alive- to have you safe, yet my arms ached as stayed at the hospital small and weak for 29 days.

We celebrated as you came home pink and healthy to our home.
You have given me a gift. I will never be the same. I will never take any life for granted. Life is fragile. I love you so very much!


Happy Birthday my sweet little girls!

Hailey's top five at five.
1-Cow blanket (her comfort item)
2-Shows (All barbie movies)
3-barbies
4-Molly (the dog)
5-Getting pretty, especially nail polish!

Things she has learned to do this year...
1-Swim without floaties in the deep end.
2-Get dressed.
3-Dress barbies and dolls.
4-Do chores.
5- Write her name.

Sydney's top 5 at 5.
1-Barbies and dolls.
2-Watching shows.
3-Dresses.
4-flip flops.
5-pizza and waffles.

Thing Sydney can do at 5.
1-Swim without floaties all over the pool.
2-Ride a scooter.
3-Sing songs.
4-Get dressed.
5-Do chores.


No kindergarten till next year. Preschool starts in a week or so.

Today is a hard hard day for all of us. My mother in law had a terrible weekend and had a serious brain surgery to get more information this afternoon. The surgery was very stressful and went as well as we could hope. No resolution in site though. Just trying to get more information to fight the serious brain infection. We are still all struggling. School starts for the other kids tomorrow. We're just hanging on. Thank you for all your prayers and words of support they mean the world to all of us right now. We still need a miracle!

For the love of bugs....

Looks like she is drinking something wonderful....

Don't be fooled...


The love of bugs and "roly polies" has taken over they're every thought.


and to them it is wonderful.


The sun has opened up a whole new world for you both this spring. The pull to go outside is almost obsessive. Keeping you in the back yard has become a new challenge. I often find you sneaking outside without permission. It makes me uneasy. Two people always waiting for me to let my guard down so you can escape.

Mama....

This conversation took place when I was doing her hair this morning. She talks to much she almost forgets to breath.

Mama Remember last night (last night is anything that happened before today) when I was sick and my legs were broken and I could not walk and you took care of me?

Mama is Santa going to give me a good check mark or a bad one?

Mama I love your make up it makes you pretty.

Mama last night I was a princess for Halloween.

Mama I want to be a Mommy when I grow up too. I am going to have babies. Who will work at the store? I don't want to work at the store because I will be a mommy. Will you miss me when I am a mommy?

Mama I like you.

Mama do I look pretty...

Mama I have lots of names. Sydney, Sydney bear, baby B, Elizabeth, our last name (She said it but I don't share it).

and it went on Mama mama mama...
Makes all the bad stuff a little easier to deal with today.

Rude Awakening...

Every morning...

It always starts with desperate pleas.
"Feed me".
"I am sooooo hungry".
"My tummy is hurting".
"I am starving".
Whine, whine, cry, cry, scream, scream. So I get the breakfast made and she takes one bite. Done. "Mommy I want waffles instead" or my personal fav, "Mommy I am too full" because one bite of anything might do that to you.

Seriously annoying.

A evening hike nightmare....

When Alan was out of town we decided to take the kids up to the mountains to get pictures. After spending afternoon coordinating clothing and doing hair we headed up around 5pm. Our plan was to take photos and go on a short one mile hike. I work out all the time so 1 mile was described by sister as a "a little walk up the road". We began taking pictures, which turned out great. After millions of pictures Jacob announced he needed to use the bathroom. So we all went down the trail to use the bathrooms. After taking them I told my sister how glad I was that we had done that, "wouldn't it be awful to be the top of the mountain with a kid needing to poop". Good point. So we began our little "walk down the road" as we got to the trailhead Sydney announced a need to use the bathroom again. We had just been there so I wasn't feeling the need could be too urgent. I sent my sister on her way with the other three and headed to the bathroom. For some reason I retrieved my car keys from her as well. As we were walking towards the bathroom Sydney begins to cry and tell me she is going to poop. True to her word she did. EVERYWHERE. Shoes,legs,everything. My hands were caked in the stuff. In the good old port a potty there is nothing. No water, no sink, no paper towels nothing. She is screaming. I head to my car with a kid covered in brown stuff and me looking bad too (thank goodness I had keys). I keep extra stuff in a bag with wipes, hang sanitizer, underwear all that good stuff you need with small children. I knew I was in trouble before even arriving to the car because all that stuff was in a swim bag I had thrown out of the car as we were rushing off. I was hoping to find something to save me. NOT SO. I found two dry wipes from wiping faces and a bottle of water. I did my best to clean her off. At this point I have no desire to go on my little walk up the mountain even if its short. I have no choice though as my sister has got my other three and has no idea where we are. SO we head off with Sydney and no underwear (poor dear she was NOT happy). As we begin walking I realize this is not short or easy. Time passes and its all uphill, over creeks, and its getting darker. I am carrying my then dirty girl on my back and I am wiped out. I see no sign of my sister either. That doesn't bode well for how long I have to go I decide. After what seemed like forever I hear some voices in the distance. I eventually see Jacob and Lindsey at the top of a high peak. I finally catch up and wonder if my sister considers this hike more than the walk up the road. I don't want to say anything. I don't have too she is as surprised as I am. We continue up to Secret Lake. It's then that Sydney has to go to the bathroom again. This time I take her seriously. She goes under a tree (remember we have no wipes). We keep on going and going. At the top she goes to the bathroom again. After a few more pictures we headed back down where Sydney went to the bathroom again. People were stopping us commenting on how lovely the kids were dressed for a hike. Yeah they were all wearing dresses and brown sandals that were very dirty now. We had no idea what we were getting into at all. No water and no food. When we got home it was 10pm! My kids were starving. When I told Alan the whole story he said something about why would I take a baby hiking with diarrhea. I wouldn't ever do that. Sometimes you don't know these things before hand. Sometimes knowing would be better. SO thats part 2. Lovely huh.

Thank goodness the pictures were so nice. The kids thought it was a wonderful thing. They loved every minute (except being with out underwear Sydney hated that part).

Mommy moment...

After a long day, Kids in bed, I walked into the twins room to put some laundry away. Sydney requested I come lay with her. After a long exhausting routine of prayers, singing, getting water, going to the bathroom everything in me was screaming "No" but I decided to grant her request for a short moment. She began talking to me. She asked me how Great Grandma got to Heavenly Father and Jesus. Could she fly?, She asked. Was she sad? Did she cry? I told her no she was happy. She asked me if the fishes (that she saw when visiting her) had to go too. I reassured her they did not go. She asked me why she died and I told her she just got old. She told me then that she never wanted to get old and die she would be very scared. She did not want to be alone. Could I come with her? It was at this point I was able share a special gift, a wonderful truth. We don't have to be alone. We don't have to be scared. Jesus loved us so much he died for us so we could live with those we love forever. So we could be with our families forever. This made her very happy. I told her we need to always say Thank you for what Jesus did. It was one of those moments I almost missed. I was stunned to find out that all these thoughts were going on in my three year old's head, unsaid and not understood.

Tonight I am more grateful than ever for Jesus and his sacrifice and the knowledge that I will see my Grandma again. That she is not alone. That I have the opportunity to be those I love the most forever.

These was written on Sunday. I was not sure I would share it. I don't want to keep being a downer. Tonight she again asked me about my Grandma. She seemed shocked when I used the word Dead this time instead of died. She said, "she can't be dead she smiled at me from her chair while I was playing with the toys". It just broke my heart. I feel glad she is remembering her so vividly but it hurts all the same. All of my other children, including Hailey do not seem affected.

It's a jungle out here...

Thank you for all your well wishes on my great day post! Alan got a job offer we have been waiting/hoping for and we are thrilled!

The other day I got the twins dressed (as usual). They were very excited about their outfits and told me they were ready for the jungle. So they ventured outside on a nice warm day (the first in a while) and enjoyed every bit of it. Life through their eyes really is a lot more interesting...

Trouble maker at work...

I used to think Sydney and Hailey had very few differences but lately I am noticing a alarming difference. Sydney has been in all sorts of trouble and Hailey is not the one doing it.

Here are the "best of" her naughty episodes...
The other day Hailey slipped and fell in the bubble bath that Sydney dumped this was previously mentioned. The entire bottle of bubble bath took three days to clean off the floor. It just kept foaming and foaming. When a cap full can fill the entire tub with suds you can imagine what the whole bottle does with the floor!
Then is was the conditioner in the shower and all over her clothing.
Then it was Hailey slipping on the unusually slippery wood floors. Later we find Sydney has sprayed Pam all over the floors.
Then there was tide power carried in a trail and filled up in the toilet.
Lotion and more lotion on several different occasions.
Shampoo contained to the bathtub.

Sydney has an expression, a gleam in her eyes she makes when mischief is being had. These expressions are all her own.
The other day she asked me to please look at the baby on the t.v. "I do not want you to watch me, do not look at what I am doing".

She is so obvious in her naughty attempts and often requests me to not go where she going or to not watch what she does.

Yesterday Alan was holding her (she sucks her fingers) and she told him she could not suck her fingers they were yucky. He smelled cleaner on her hands and began questioning her. Her simple response was "I do want to to talk".

It's amazing when she find the moments to do this. She seems to know exactly when I am busy or not paying attention. I really do keep things out of her reach but each day I am finding a new thing that has to become a controlled substance. All real cleaning supplies are out in the garage up high and medicines are as well. She still finds shampoo, lotion, 409, and laundry soap. What should I remove next?