Good read...

At the risk of repeated what you have heard or read on every other blog out there. I am going to share my opinion of Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer.
First off if you don't like it you can stop reading now. I read Twilight (or in my case listened to it on cd) a month ago. I really liked it. It was a quick, easy read. I loved the story and I liked that it was just enjoyable and not heavy. I was hesitant to read it at first because of the sci-fi element to it but decided to believe my friends who LOVED it. I am so glad I did. I highly recommend it. I think it really appealed to me because the thoughts and feelings bring me back to my high school years, young love.
A few weeks past and I finally got a copy of New Moon (yeah I am too cheap to buy the books). This time I read the book instead of listening to it on my ipod (while I work out or clean). I found it much easier to read this way. I missed a lot less! If I liked Twilight I loved New Moon. This was bad week for me so I decided to force myself to not read it too fast. So I got the most exciting part (the whole book is pretty exciting) and then I made myself wait to finish it till after the funeral etc... This way I had something to look forward to. I finished it on Thursday. It was great! I am officially an now addict too. I am actually rereading Twilight because I think listening to it made me miss a lot of it. My sister was buying the third book today so I hope to read it soon. I just haven't decided when to read it. Book 4 does not come out till August! It is also being made into a movie that comes out in December.

Anyway... thats my two cents on the series. Love them.

I wanted to answer a few comments. First on the bear in yellowstone. He was NEVER that close to me or anyone I loved. Holy crap no. That picture was taken with a nice ZOOM lens. If you look at the pictures with my kids you can see he is down a ravine. That was close but not dangerous.

Thank you again for all your sweet thoughts about my Grandma. It makes me feel so good to share her with you and know that she is remembered in some way. Stay tuned for my contest. I have been overwhelmed for a while and I promise its coming! School gets out next week and then summer will be in full swing. I wonder if the sunshine and warm weather is here to stay? It's really been a cold wet spring around here.

My Grandma...

I haven't felt much like posting. I have been reflecting a lot about what I wanted to share about my Grandma and that left me overwhelmed. We went on another short weekend trip and that was a welcome distraction for a while. The funeral was today.

Thank you for all your heart felt and sincere wishes. It meant a lot to me. I also wanted to thank my childhood friend Allison who reads my blog (and doesn't comment hint hint). She read of my Grandma's death and immediately notified her mother (who is my mom's good friend). It meant a lot to my mom to receive support at this time and I know her mother would not have known without Allison being so thoughtful. She did the same thing when my Grandpa died. I truly appreciated that simple act of kindness.


My Grandma has been such a dear part of my life, all of my life. She was my mom's best friend and number one cheer leader. She has been there for nearly every event in my life. She was an amazing woman who lived her life simple and with integrity. She worked every single day of her life, and she worked hard. She never wanted to be idle. She spent her entire life dedicated to serving others. In the last months of her life it got hard. She was alone. She could not get around anymore. She was in pain. She still never complained. When I asked how she was doing she always said, "Just the same". She never made us think it was a picnic but she did not focus on her hardships. What a great example this was to me and is to me. We are all given challenges, we may have to suffer. Getting on with it with a good attitude can take you far. I will take that example with me. She was also always grateful. I won't soon forget her constant thank you's when she received care or help. Even in her last days I saw her writing notes (which took great effort) to the nurses and saying thank you. That really impressed me. My Grandma was not a powerful woman. She never had a big career. She spent most of her life taking care of her family and her friends and neighbors. She worked hard and saved every penny they earned. Again, she never complained. Without being out in the work force she found a way to touch many people. Being a great mother changed the lives of so many. In a world where motherhood is not often valued she showed me of its great value. Her example helps me remember that what you do as a mother and for your children and posterity is a huge accomplishment. Through that job you do influence many and you do change lives. This is something she did. She also gave me my mother, who is my best friend. It has been so difficult to say good bye and let go of this marvelous woman. I am grateful to know I will see her again.

I feel lucky my kids got to know her and love her and her them. On my last visit with her days before she died she was not well. It was very difficult for me to see her like this. When I said Good bye to her and told her who I was I was able to say I love you and she smiled and she kissed me. I am so glad I had that moment and that closure. Those memories are cherished.

This was on the back of the funeral program and I really liked it.
We all have things that happen to us and wonder, "why me?". My father used to say pressure is what makes diamonds and coal and probably a lot of other valuable things.

Diamonds and coal are both made from the same element. It is the difference in pressure and heat that changes them. It is the same with people. Were made of the same elements, but the pressure and heat make some of us diamonds. It's how we handle our problems that determines our lives. Out are opportunities are great, if we just take advantage of them.

-Marguerite Jensen (my Grandma)

I hope I can remember this. We all have the opportunity to take our lives and make them great.

Marguerite Christensen Jensen
Marguerite Christensen Jensen 7/17/1915 ~ 5/22/2008 Grandma lived a good long life. We loved grandma and sitting in her lap with a book, her M&M jar and her closet of vintage toys.Marguerite C. Jensen "Marge", beloved wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunt, sister and friend, passed away of natural causes on May 22, 2008 at home with loving family by her side. Marge was born to Daniel and Mattie Christensen in Fruitland, NM. Marge was valedictorian of her graduating class. She served in the Canadian Mission where she met her future husband, Ivan Jensen. They married in the Salt Lake LDS Temple in 1941. Her husband preceded her in death after 66 years of marriage. She had a kind and loving heart, and a wide-ranging intellect. She was an avid reader, loved history and collected historical artifacts, loved flowers and gardening, enjoyed cooking, quilting and sewing. The family will cherish the many pieced quilts that she artfully created. Marge and Ivan have six children: Karen (Rex) Alldredge, Roberta (Paul) Barstad, Kathleen (LaVere) Terry, Ivan Orville Jensen, MaryAnn (Dennis) Golightly, James (Mardi) Jensen. They have 22 grandchildren and 40 great-grandchildren. Marge was an active member of the LDS Church. She served faithfully throughout her life in many church positions, including president of YWMIA, Primary, Junior Sunday School and Relief Society. She was also a member of the Daughters of Utah Pioneers, and served on their board. Her greatest accomplishment was being a loving mother and her posterity call her name blessed. The family would like to express appreciation and thanks to friends, neighbors, Rocky Mountain Hospice, and all who have offered their love, support and prayers. Funeral services for Marge will be held on Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 11 a.m.

Yellowstone day 2 and other random stuff...

Bear

You can see the bear in the bottom left corner...

The kids in front on the Teton mountain range. We drove home the long way to see more sights.

It took quite a bit longer because when we were nearly home we got stuck in a monster traffic jam The freeway was completely stopped and it turned out the canyon was closed from many hours. We turned around and had to take a dirt road over the canyon. It was quite an adventure for sure!

This dirt road was packed and it was pretty crazy!

It's been a tough week. My dear Grandma passed away yesterday. I am very sad and will miss her deeply. Today is Alan's birthday as well. I want him to know how much I love and appreciate him. He watched the kids several times over the last month and let me spend time with my Grandma. I will post more about her later. I am trying to compose myself and its all to fresh right now. Hope you all have a great weekend.

Yellowstone...

Mini vacation to Yellowstone.
We saw Bison, 2 Bald Eagle's, Old Faithful and many other geyers, Yellowstone lake frozen solid, Waterfalls, Elk, happy kids, stinky smells, not a lot of people, bears.

It was a great time. Watch out for picture overload!

Old Faithful going off...

In front of Old Faithful before it went off.

This went right by the car! The kids were thrilled.

Frozen yellowstone lake behind us (the entire big lake frozen solid).

Bear warning

Day 2 later...

It's a jungle out here...

Thank you for all your well wishes on my great day post! Alan got a job offer we have been waiting/hoping for and we are thrilled!

The other day I got the twins dressed (as usual). They were very excited about their outfits and told me they were ready for the jungle. So they ventured outside on a nice warm day (the first in a while) and enjoyed every bit of it. Life through their eyes really is a lot more interesting...

A great day...

A really really great day!

*Woke up did Lindsey's hair and went back to sleep till 9am! Alan made pancakes and took Lindsey to school and let me sleep (without being asked).
*We got a very important and wonderful e-mail (great great day).
*Went to the gym.
*Went out to dinner to celebrate at The Cheesecake Factory with Alan (alone). I told Alan to pick the place (but I know he picked this one for me). I ordered what I really wanted not what was good for me. Yummy (thank goodness I went to the gym).

I'll be honest things have been tough lately. I haven't had a day as good as this one in a LONG LONG time and I really needed it.

When I grew up...

All I wanted to be was a mommy.

Me with my birthday baby (age 5)

From a very young age all I wanted to do was play with dolls. Growing up with two sisters made this easy. We always had an elaborate game going on with our babies or our barbies. I began baby-sitting as soon as I was allowed and I played with kids every where I went before that. When I was too old to baby sit I began working in small retails stores. I missed being with kids so I always had a nanny job on the side. During my college years I nannied for a baseball player for the SF Giants. It was a lot of fun. I also taught preschool during my summers.

I knew a lot about taking care of kids. So naturally motherhood seemed like it would be easy or at least something I knew how to do. I figured I would be really good at it too.

My first Mother's Day was spent bring Lindsey home from the hospital. Here I was holding my newborn and feeling completely terrified. She was wearing a hospital onesie that was so tight I could not get it off. I remember calling my mother in tears telling her to come sleep over. It was then I learned what I know now:
Nothing of being a mother is written out.
Most of my experiences are trial and error.
What works one time won't work the next and I never feel like I know what I am doing.
Sometimes I am good at it and sometimes I am not so good too.
I am not perfect. Mom's make mistakes all the time. It's okay.
I have now learned that it all does not matter because I have love like I never knew before...

Things I love about being the mommy...
♥The amazing feeling of meeting your baby (or babies) for the first time ♥The mother child relationship. ♥Christmas morning wouldn’t be the same. ♥I always have someone to get a treat with. ♥Shopping for kids clothing and dressing them. ♥photography and scrapbooking material ♥hair do's ♥ Enjoying my favorite childhood memories again ♥I always get something special on Mother’s Day. ♥Sharing my kids with my mom and Grandma ♥ Kisses and hugs anytime I want them. ♥There’s always something to laugh at. ♥ Being the one to see my children learn how to do something new.♥Picking baby names and baby items ♥I always have someone to say “I love you” to. ♥The smell of sunscreen and sunkissed beautiful children. ♥ Going to Disneyland and experiencing it all over again. ♥I’ve always got crayons in the house. ♥I have someone to bake cookies for. ♥I get lots of hugs. ♥My Saturdays are never dull during soccer season. ♥I am constantly being humbled. ♥I get to smell baby shampoo. ♥I get to buy some pretty exciting toys. ♥I am never lonely. ♥I’ve learned to be a bit more patient. ♥I see a lot of smiles. ♥I still sing songs and no one cares that I can't sing. ♥I get to be called “Mommy.”♥ I always have a drawing or craft project to hang up. ♥I have someone to go to the park with. ♥Watching Alan be their daddy. ♥Being a family ♥ Having them to make me smile on a bad day or just keep me distracted. ♥Experiencing miracles every single day.

I am so blessed. I had a wonderful Mother's Day. I hope you did too. Homemade gifts, breakfast in bed, dishes done. Small and simple acts of kindness. Visiting mom's and my Grandma and remembering our wonderful mother's. Thank you Alan. This post marks post 300! Stay tuned for my contest and game :)

Iv'e been tagged...

I was tagged by Jenny.

4 things I was doing 10 years ago (1998):
-Going to College.
-Enjoying my first year of marriage.
-Living in apartments.
-Working as a receptionist after classes.

4 things I was doing 5 years ago (2003):
-Mother of two.
-Decorating and redoing our first house.
-Got our first mini van (oh the horror).
-

4 things I did yesterday:
-Went to visit my dear Grandma (who is not doing well).
-Took Jacob to build a bear!
-Trying to figure out my hair after a new hair cut.
-Cleaned.

4 shows I love to watch:
-The Hills
-Survivior
-The Office
-Grey's Anatomy

4 things that make me really happy:
-My family
-Girls nights!
-Comments on my blog
-Shopping!

I tag Angie, Lisa (my sister in law and a new blogger), Debra and anyone else who would love to play along. Let me know if you do it.

Wordless Wednesday- Crazy hair day...

The day I became a mother...

Dear Lindsey,
You were due on April 29th the day came and went. Days past but you were happy right where you were. Mom and Dad were getting impatient. At nearly a week late we were getting mighty frustrated. I woke up Wednesday morning May 5th feeling like I had the flue. I was having a lot of braxton hicks contractions and they were close but not painful. I really was feeling awful. This continued all day at about 11 pm I thought I felt hot so I had Daddy take my temperature. I had a 103 fever! I immediately called labor and delivery and they told me just to take two Tylenol and not to worry. Well about a half-hour later the contractions came and they were long and close together. At 1am we headed for the hospital. When I got there they hooked me up and told me things were progressing, but that my urin sample indicated I was severely dehydrated. After checking me she told I was STILL only a one and was now 70 percent effaced. I thought I might die because I was in major pain and making what seemed like no progress. They monitored me while making me drink sprite and rehydrate myself and then told me they wanted to give me a pain shot because I was showing signs of being really sick. They said if it was real labor they would seem me soon. Just as I stood up I threw up everything they tried to give me. The pain shot helped a lot and about three in the morning I was sent home. Now I wonder why I was sent home at 41 weeks like this but I was naive. I slept yet I was still aware that contractions were coming. About 8am the pain was awful so we headed to the hospital again finally this time they admitted me and told me that my contractions were strong and hard and that I could have the epidural anytime. I said NOW! They broke my water and discovered severe meconnium. Which had me then very worried about you. At that point I got my epidural and felt wonderful seconds after. . Anyway as labor progressed it was clear that you were not doing well. Several times they told me they were preparing for an emergency c-section. Somehow every time they were about to whisk me away you recovered. It was VERY scary! We decided I should have a blessing. Your Daddy and your Great Uncle Layton said a prayer for you, we prayed everything would be o.k. The things the Doctors had told us were very serious complications. Even now I do not think we ever knew how bad it really was. The prayer helped a lot because right after the blessing things started to improve. Your heart rate began to return to normal and you were responding very well. They decided giving me stuff to slow things down and now they gave me stuff to get it all going again. About two hours later they told me it was time to push. Now this was hard work. On May 6th you my sweet Lindsey were born healthy with a full head of hair. You scored 8 and 9 on the Apgar and none of the major risks they had warned us about came to pass. I remember looking over at you and being amazed that you were mine. I have never ever felt that kind of love. I could not wait to hold you but the Doctors were still trying to make sure everything was out of your lungs. They brought you over to me and handed you to me. As I held you I knew that nothing in life was better than this. Nothing was better than loving you my sweet baby. Welcome welcome sweetheart. I love you!
Love,
Mommy

As I read this letter I wrote Lindsey as a young mother, just delivering my first child. I marvel at who I was at the time. I have gone on to have three more children each pregnancy and delivery harder than the next. Little did I know that day what was ahead of me. What a life changing thing becoming a mother would be. What having a really sick baby would be like? I am glad I did not know. Over time I become a stronger more capable person and mother. Delivering my second child (Jacob) via emergency c-section seemed scary and unbearable at the time. Yet I never imagined what was still ahead in my life. Finding out I was having twins. I suffered daily hoping the twins would be born at all. Delivering them at 32 weeks, knowing they were too small and not quite ready. Watching them on ventilators struggling to breath, weeks in incubators growing still receiving oxygen. 29 days in a hospital my arms empty. Yes I am glad life often prepares us for what is ahead that I did not walk this challenges alone. I am so grateful to be a mother. To have four healthy beautiful children. That these experiences are now in the past.

I have been a mother for 9 yrs. Amazing really. I am different. I am stronger. I know love like I never imagined.

Comments:You ask... I'll answer...

I'm crazy grumpy today. I think its because everything and I do mean everything is a mess and I am just plain overwhelmed. Still dealing with my cold.

I love comments.
A BIG shout out to all of you and especially Erin who made me feel so good with her comments. Thank you.

So I thought I would update and answer a few questions from my hair do post.

First the sunflower dresses and jean coats are all from Baby Gap. Unfortunately that place sells out of all their cute stuff right away so the dresses will be hard to find. I think the coats will still be hanging around. If you have younger girls than me I will be reselling them next year. You know how that goes...

How do I get my girls to sit still to get their hair done? My girls are trained to get their hair done. They just know it has to be done. We do it everyday when they get dressed so it has become a habit. Just like other habits. I recommend lots of water in a good spray bottle and good elastics that do not slide out. Praise goes a long way. My girls think they look more beautiful with pretty hair so thats a motivator there too. They look crazy when I do not have their hair done.

As for getting them all ready for church and their hair done. I never thought about that as being unusual and as usual you all made me feel pretty cool with your praise. We have church at 11am so that helps a lot.

Today has been a soccer day. Alan did some jack hammering in the basement last night (for the plumbing). Can you imagine how loud that was? I am just trying to get my head above water. I keep saying to myself, "Just keep swimming just keep swimming". You get the idea.


Cheering leaders on the side lines...

The BIG clean out 2008...

Crawling out from a crazy week. Alan has been finishing a few rooms in our basement. We started with the only two rooms we could clean out. To do this we had to move all that stuff to the other unfinished areas. It's been a few months and those rooms are now wall boarded and close to done so Alan told me it was time to clean out the whole basement. Remember my post about Oprah and all the stuff? Well we had a lot of stuff (not as much as they did of course). Our entire 1200 sq ft basement was stuffed with stuff. What you ask? JUNK! I have dreaded this project but Alan had some time off so I had to give in and get it done. It wasn't great that I came down with a terrible cold. Worst one in a year. Aches, no sleeping at all at night. I worked with Alan from morning till late into the night feeling absolutely terrible. Alan worked a lot harder then I did of course but I was juggling the twins and trying to sort through all of the stuff. I hate these kind of projects because they seem to spill into the rest of the house and make everything a giant mess. We filled the entire dumpster and took 6 truckloads to Deseret Industries (like Good will). Oh and did I mention I was also in charge of a mother/daughter dinner for church yesterday? I was so glad when Friday came the dumpster was removed and I could finally take a nap. It felt like moving a whole floor of our house! My house is total chaos now. My basement is clean, my garage is clean but every inch of my house is a mess. No laundry has been done, no basic cleaning, every ounce of energy went into this project.

Day 1. My kitchen was stacked to the ceiling with bins eventually. Miserable huh?
Bags and Bags of stuff to donate.
Jacob had a friend over and they decided they loved throwing stuff in the dumpster!

On a good note... Alan has a lot more room to build in my basement. The rooms we are beginning to finish will be a playroom w/ a playhouse under the stairs and craft room for me. Maybe I can finally get scrapbooking again!

Tuesday's Tip- Hair Blogs

I grabbed some shots of the kids before church yesterday. You can learn more about fun hair do's too at Jenn's blog here http://itsmylife-jenn.blogspot.com/. I have loved her hair tips. I also like to look here too http://shedoeshair.blogspot.com/.



Update:
I am not sure why its making it look like I had more pictures posted. Blogger can be very bad sometimes. It shows nothing so I cannot edit it.

Monkey see monkey do...

The other day Sydney began screaming because she got gum in her hair. It hurt and was pulling her hair. I was driving and could not deal with it at the time. Lindsey began trying to settle her down telling her that she could use peanut butter to get it out and it was "fun". Right then Hailey reached in her mouth and removed her gum and stuck it in her hair too! Fabulous! By the way the peanut butter got the gum out along with half the hair. Not fun at all.

My goal...

My goal was to spend a lot less time on the computer.

It's working...

The side effect is finding time to read all of your inspiring blogs and to comment. I promise I will try to find some balance in all this. I just need to have time to live my regular life and enjoy the computer time in moderation.

Tuesday's Tip...

Aquafina Flavorsplash water

I love the stuff.
Calorie free.
Light taste.
Nice change from just plain water.
Love grape.

Flash back friday...

I need to picture this today. I wish I could jump back in time and enjoy these moments more feel them all over again.

We went to Hawaii when the twins were 13 months old. Lindsey was 6 and Jacob was 3.
To everyone including myself this seemed like an ill-fated plan. Believe me my expectations were not very high. I was still nursing the girls and the thought of managing to make it through the plane flight was enough to make me not want to go.
When we arrived in Hawaii what I found was amazing. We stayed in a condo right on the beach. I could sit in the sand outside the girls window while Jacob and the girls napped! The girls were so tired they slept like a dream. I spent my days enjoying every minute.



As with any vacation there were a few disasters....

I took a picture of my sister/brother in law. While kneeling in the surf it overtook me and I quickly put her cheapo camera out of harms way. Sounds wise until you learn that my brand new expensive camera was hanging on my neck underwater. Yeah some tears were shed about that one.This picture cost me a lot!

Alan jumped off a cliff and seriously injured his ear. He was in pain the whole rest of the visit (this happened on day 2). Which resulted in two emergency doctor visits. It ruined his ability to do anything.
Last but certainly not least occurred mostly without my personal witness. On the return trip we were flying into LAX and driving home. Alan and I had purchased tickets for ourselves and the twins knowing a long flight and long drive home would be too much. As we were getting checked in we were offered a direct flight home bypassing LAX. It was a emotionally decision for me to separate from Lindsey and Jacob and leave them to fly home with their Grandparents and sister/brother in law. I was actually in tears. With Alan's ear he had been given medicine to hope to avoid it rupturing under the pressure of landing etc. A direct flight was much better for this so we did it. The flight was long and my arms nearly broke off holding the sleeping baby. I thought it was bad. Upon landing I called to see if they had made it to LAX only to find they had not left Maui at all. Flight cancelled left 2 hrs on the plane waiting. No more flights available. They were not given luggage or any personal items. The airport was closed and there was nothing done. They were left stranded at the airport for almost 2 days before Delta got them out. No compensation. No luggage! My niece was also just one was there sleeping in her mothers arms. It was awful for them. Thankfully they arrived home safely. Lindsey and Jacob remember this as an adventure having fun sleeping at the airport. Believe me EVERYONE was glad we took the other flight. Just the thought of twins in that airport was more than they could bear.

Jacob and Grandpa sleeping on the floor at the airport! Jacob is only three.

After reading the bad moments it might make you wonder how the good actually outweighed them but I assure you it did. It's amazing to me that when you look back on memories the good ones shine brighter and the bad ones seem almost funny. I am glad for that. I am glad for memories they make the sunshine brighter even in the darkness.

My Golden boy...

Forgive me while I journal a bit more about my Jacob. His birthday was wonderful. He appreciated and enjoyed every single thing.

I love that you call your hair Golden (not blonde). So now we call you our "golden" boy.

I love that when I do Laundry your pockets are stock full of the most interesting items. Your pants have holes in all the knees. You are all boy!

I love that packed your suitcase 2 months before our trip to Yellow Stone or as you call it "Golden" stone. You are that excited!

I love that when you have a friend over I have to watch out for you because you are so nice that they take advantage of it. One time you had a friend who wanted both the transformers and you were sad but you gave them both to him and said you would just do something else. You often let your friends play one player games and just sit and watch even when I know its not what you want to do. Like I said sometimes I have to intervine.




I love that you adore your sisters. You take such care of them.

You love to be outside ALL.THE.TIME. You will spend hours riding your bike back and forth or playing in the backyard. Even in the winter. All of neighbors comment on this.



I love that every time I ask you how something was you respond with GRRRRREAT (imagine Tony the Tiger)! You have a optimistic and happy attitude about life. I hope you will always keep this quality because it is one of the best things about you. Everyone who knows you comments on your great disposition.

His new BMX clothes!

I love how your eyes light up when I volunteer in your class.

You're not perfect. You can be stubborn and when someone (like Lindsey) pushes your buttons you can get pretty mad. That might be a good thing. You hate all caseroles and would rather starve than even take one bite.

I feel so lucky to be your mother. To have you in our family spreading all your excitement and love. I know you were meant to join our family when you did. To be the one just a bit older than the twins. You were amazing as a 2yr old often left unattended you never did a single naughty thing. That was a miracle. You are Grrrreat!

I love you!

Love,
Mommy