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I am offically going insane. I need help! The twins and their bedtime antics are just making me totally nuts. They never sleep or go to sleep well at all anymore. They stay up all night and get up way too early and then they are crabby and tired all day. I have tried almost everything I can think of and short of splitting them up entirely. I don't know what to do. Nap or no nap they go to bed at 8pm and stay awake as late as 11 pm. I sit outside their room or in my room and go in anytime they are loud, out of bed, or laughing and it doesn't make a difference. It just makes me crazy and inpatient. When I give up and just do my thing they go to bed even later. I have moved them to different rooms many times for nap and that solves the problem but only after tons of crying and screaming over not wanting to do it. I have no down time and I am just do tired of it. Any suggestions. Will this ever pass? They are so overtired. I understand some laughing etc... but three hours of putting them back to bed and quieting them is not going work.
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The only thing that's worked for my little ones is the Super Nanny bedtime routine. It was hard the first 2 nights but saved me a ton of frustration later on and still works a year later.
You might want to try it, sure saved me from going bald. Good luck!
Thanks for advice!
I have watched and tried Super Nannies technique and it really isn't working. I am not having issues with them getting out of bed or coming out of their room or crying in bed. I do the routine, put them to bed and then they just laugh aloud and play together (sometimes never leaving their beds) It is the playing together and settling down, sneaking around in the room so I won't hear etc.. They are overtired and cranky as am I. Am I missing something here, what to do?
Just a lurker here. I totally feel for you. I have 2 little boys that love to sing and giggle at night. We finally resorted (bad me) to natural melatonine. 1 tiny chewable tablet and they are out in 15 minutes. It's the same stuff our brains make just in tablet form. I get if from a health foods store. We don't use it all the time but when we have to it's SO NICE. Good luck.
Rachel
My kids sleep together and the threat and following through of separating seems to work. They may have to sleep separately for a night but will want to sleep together the next. And they seem to do better the next night because they do not want to be separated.
I hope you find something that works, so you guys can get some sleep.
I wish I could help you but I have no advice in this area yet. I'm sorry. I know how tired I get when the girls act up for a few nights crying. I can only imagine what you're going thru. Hopefully someone has some good advice.
I have no practical experience here but I just wanted to send you gentle (((hugs)))
Oh Laura, I am sending good sleep vibes your way. I am absolutely aweful when I am tired so I really feel for you! I think Jennwa's suggestion may be worth a try. Actually follow through and separate them for a while and then they will believe the threat when you use it. Hopefully they will want to be back together enough to go to sleep quickly. Hope this ends soon! Lots of love and hugs coming your way!
Do they have a night light? I won't let my kids have one because they can see each other and then it's an all night ordeal!
Nap time is my irritation Lane 3 and Olivia 2 like to stay up ALLL the time and play around. DRIVES me crazy! The don't do it as much when Joe is here but when it's just me they're little stinkers. I still haven't found anyhting that works besides seperating them and having Lane sleep on the couch in the front room but then that means I have to be really quiet and if Eliza wakes up it's really hard to keep her quiet enough so he can sleep! Drives me looney! :) Good luck.
Oh, I am SOOO sorry! Any two children who share the same room would be the same way...it's not just you and it's not just your twins! Lauren did have a tough time with bedtime when she was about 2 years old. Oh boy, did I get firm! (I used to be a kindergarten teacher at a very structured private school-and all my training from childhood development classes-really came out at that moment) It took less than a week to get her to understand bedtime was not playtime! (I'm not an expert, my kids are not perfect, but here is what worked for us...)
Preparation is important. One at a time, in a really loving environment, (set them on your lap, give hugs, hold their hands, cuddle...) explain to them (at their age level) about how important sleep is. Talk to them with encouragement, letting them contribute their ideas and thoughts. Really make this a moment they will remember.
NOW THE ROUTINE! (You are doing a good thing by having a set time.) We brushed teeth, went potty, got a quick small drink of milk (settles the body down), read a quiet book, and said prayers (always adding in the prayer how important sleep was.) With a hug and a kiss, I reminded her to stay in bed.
Next came what I call my "robotic" stage. If she EVER got out of bed, I'd pick her up and place her back in bed. (It happened up to ten times the first few nights). I call it robotic because I showed no emotion, said NOTHING, gave no expression, didn't give in -I just ACTED! (You can't argue with a robot!-It's preprogrammed to do the same thing over and over, no matter what happens.) Eventually, she got the message, and stayed in bed.
Lastly and the most important part, came the PRAISE! In the morning, when she came downstairs I told her how proud SHE should be of HERSELF that she stayed in bed! Gave a big hug, a high five, called grandma...etc. She still comes dowstairs some mornings, almost two years later, telling me that she stayed in bed!
Now that she is older, we let her keep 2 or 3 books in bed with her to read till she falls asleep. It's a treat and if she gets out of bed (other than to go potty at this age) or gets silly, the books get taken away. No explanation needed, she knows why...again-just act!
Now, your situation is going to be 100 times harder because there are two and they will play off each other. Maybe you can sit in between the beds the first few nights? Maybe you've already tried this and in that case...maybe its too much to expect of them at this age. (Which is also normal!) And letting them fall asleep in different rooms is the only option for a while.
If all else fails, bring them over to my house for a little playdate just to give yourself a break in the middle of the day...anytime!
And, yes, it will pass...eventually.
I am the last person you want giving advice about sleep. Since I work night shift and our schedules are all mixed up, I decided a long time ago that I would do whatever it takes to get the most people, the most sleep. That meant separating my girls so Lilly sleeps with us most of the time. It's not ideal, but everybody sleeps! So I got nothin' for you except hang in there cuz eventually they will be teenagers who won't wake up!
oh laura, that really does sound bad. i don't know what i'm going to do when it's big girl bed time. i'm sending you good thoughts tonight! good luck!
Laura, I wish I had some magical advice. It looks as if you have some good suggestions given though.
Being a tired mommy is SOOOO hard.
You seem so determined to find a way, I know it will come.
About my blog page, no I don't do it, I wish. My friend Katie does, here is her link: delahuntyfam.blogspot.com
She does charge a fee, however I found it was worth it for me...it's like writing on beautiful stationary.
I feel for you. I wish I could help. We have to have Josh and Joe fall asleep in seperate rooms and then carry Joe into his bed once they are both asleep. This is not the best way though because if Joe wakes up in the middle of the night he is mad that he is in his bed. So I do not have the answer. But I think I am going to use some of the advice the others have given. GOOD LUCK!!
My four year old still has sleep issues, so I am not one to give advice. But I agree with Shelby- a routine is key at bedtime. Kids thrive on routine. And perhaps seperating the girls will have to happen for a couple of nights until they get used to the routine. I think once they get back into a normal sleep schedule the naps will return as well. They need to get past this overtiredness. Good luck!
My four year old still has sleep issues, so I am not one to give advice. But I agree with Shelby- a routine is key at bedtime. Kids thrive on routine. And perhaps seperating the girls will have to happen for a couple of nights until they get used to the routine. I think once they get back into a normal sleep schedule the naps will return as well. They need to get past this overtiredness. Good luck!
I am no where near your situation with my girls, BUT I'll ask my mother what advice she might have. She ran a daycare for many years and at times had 7 children napping at once -- all in the same room. There has to be SOMETHING she did...
-Kate
Here in NZ we have a therapist called Diane Levy sort of like the Super Nanny. Her book is called "Of course I love you now go to your room" I haven't had experience using the stuff in it for the twins yet but have for Trelise.
Our bedtimes were a massive problem she would get up and down for hours. If she wasn't getting out of her room she would still be awake usually to 10 oclock or later.
Diane's suggestion has two parts - 1 if the child comes out or is making alot of noise then go in and say "the family is being disturbed, you have a choice, stay quietly in your room or the door will be shut for 5 minutes"
If the noise keeps happening then say "I'll be back in 5 minutes to see if you are ready to stay in bed and have the door open" After 5 mins go back and open the door and tell them that if they are quiet you will leave the door open. If they aren't then tell them they will have another chance in 5 mins.
At first I thought that this was what worked and it does for us but it's not as important as popping in
Popping In - desgined to catch them being good - tucked them in and say you are going to pop in very soon to see how good they are being. Pop back in after 30 seconds (really time it) and kiss them and say you are being wonderful. Then repeat increasing the intervals. We use statements like "I'll pop back in once I've done the dishes, or after we have eaten dinner etc" I keep increasing the time until she is asleep.
Of course if there's any noise then the door gets shut so they sort of work in tandam with each other.
Anyway it's worked so well for us - she just seems to be getting better and better and now sometimes I forget to pop in and she is already asleep.
Hope that helps
Jo
I am just catching up on your last couple of posts today. I don't really have any advice because my girls are separated. It was clear to me early on that I couldn't have them waking each other up in the middle of the night because we are outnumbered and 1 baby awake vs. 3 was all I wanted to manage. I have these high hopes that we will put atleast Makena and Riley in the same room when they switch to big girl beds but after reading what a hard time you have had lately, it makes me think they'll be separated longer than I thought. I hope that your one warning and then separating will teach them to get with the program so that they can sleep together. I totally understand your need for the routine and consistent sleep.
Hugs!
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