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Latley I have been having some strange dreams. I think they are related to the fact that in the nearly three years since I was pregnant with my twins and dealing with all my monitoring and hospital drama I have never met anyone in person (lots of them on the message board) who was pregnant with monoamniotic twins... until recently. I have met two great moms pregnant with monoamniotic twins. Most of you know that monoamniotic twins are 1% of all identical twin pregnancies, so its very rare. Anyway, I have been visiting and meeting with these girls. Amanda delivered her twins not too long ago, and they should be going home any day now. Kassidy is now being hospitalized nearby and I have met her and talked to her a lot. I really connect with her because relate to all the feelings she has. I have this reoccuring dream/nightmare. I am pregnant with the twins again, the problems are still bad- very bad, I am scared and worried all over again. I feel sick to my stomach with nerves. UGH! Last night the dream was different... this time is was triplets. I was having an ultrasound asking for 24 hr monitoring and he told me the estimated weights of the babies was 10 pounds, 8 pounds and 7 pounds, and I thought to myself, "Good they won't need NICU time at those weights" HELLO what I was thinking, no nicu time, three babies... thats not a good idea! LOL! It's weird how the mind works. Even those things you think are over are still in your mind somehow. It really is healing to help others get through this and see them with their beautiful twins. I feel lucky to have met both Amanda and Kassidy (and soon her babies). I have been touched by all the people I meet in the NICU their struggles help me never forget. You cannot really enjoy what is good without experiencing the other side.
Monday, July 16, 2007
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5 comments:
well, sounds like some interesting dreams to me....lol. i can't get over the 10 lb. triplet! how cool is it that you have met and get to help these two women along!!! i bet it is a big encouragement to these women to see you and your precious girls, and know that there is hope and someone they know has gone through it!!! you are definitely right, you can't appreciate how truly blessed you are until you are on the otherside of things!
My dreams of having super twins have thankfully ended! Whew! You are so lucky to have been able to meet and connect with (especially me, he he, j/k) other momo moms, but I can imagine that being there in person with Kassidy and Amanda is much different than posting on the boards. You so so much good, Laura, and I'm thankful for you!
Great -- now I'm going to have nightmares tonight about being pregnant with the twins all over again. :)
Truthfully, though, I can relate to your anxiety. I truly think I may suffer from post traumatic stress disorder after my girls' ordeal. Even nearly two years later, I still stress about it, think about it and wonder how I ever got through it.
Come to think of it, it's a wonder I don't have more dreams about the monoamniotic pregnancy.
Here's to a good night's sleep...
I can relate to your post - not with my kids but with my mom. She had cancer about six years ago and I find that I handle the subject MUCH worse now than when I was going through it with her. I took her to chemo and to get her haircut before it fell out and didn't bat an eye but now I could bawl just thinking about it. Funny how the mind works...
Still I am glad for you that you are able to turn it into a ministry. That has to be so rewarding! Whenever I see a pink cancer ribbon I cringe... I guess that means I still have work to do, huh?
HOw great that you are there for those women! And what a relief I am sure it feels like when you wake up from those dreams!
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